/reader

En zo geschiedde.

Het zal vaker voorkomen, misschien moet ik het ritme wel naar tweewekelijks brengen. Ik weet het nog niet precies, het vormt zich vanzelf wel.

Dan hebben we direct de rode draad in deze editie te pakken. En in mijn eigen werk de afgelopen weken. Veel wist ik nog precies en vormt zich gaandeweg. Het is net het leven he. We denken dat we alles kunnen uitdokteren, een plan maken, een routekaart, maar ach, die kun je na de eerste onverwachte bocht of opengebroken weg weer aanpassen.

Klinkt heftig, maar eigenlijk kan het best leuk zijn!

Wat zag ik zoal deze week?

Zo begon ik deze week met nieuwe weekberichten over mijn project CreativeNotes. Ja, erg meta en erg Main Character Energy (een term die ik leerde van mijn dochter) om in een leesmap te schrijven over je eigen weekbericht. Op Paper Trails kun je mijn route volgen hoe ik van een wild idee naar ja… iets ga. Een boek? Een podcast? Een serie interviews met foto’s? Ik weet het nog altijd niet exact…het vormt zich gaandeweg. En het vormt zich op dit moment in mooie wegen, maar dat lees je binnenkort wel…

Over schrijven en boeken… Martijn Aslander publiceert binnenkort zijn nieuwe boek “Starten met Obsidian”, dat hij in een relatief korte tijd heeft geschreven. Een praktische gids om met de notitie-app Obsidian te beginnen. Van je eerste notitie tot de opzet van een levend systeem. Ik mocht het manuscript lezen én het voorwoord schrijven. Het boek is nu al te bestellen en bij Martijn op LinkedIn kun je mijn voorwoord lezen. Ben je net begonnen met Obsidian of van plan je eigen kennis beter te borgen? Bestel dat boek van Martijn. Het is praktisch, grappig, inzichtelijk en zet je direct aan de slag.

Nog meer boekennieuws! Vriendin en Punkqueen Kirsten Jassies had vrijdag de lancering van haar boek “Het is allemaal de schuld van Social Media” over hoe BigTech, algoritmes en AI ons leven sturen. En wat je er aan kunt doen. Het is geen revolutionair en anti-kapitalistisch manifest om Silicon Valley tot de grond af te fikken. Kirsten zet de risico’s tegenover de positieve kant van technologie en geeft je handvatten hoe je het meer bewust kunt inzetten. Met inzicht, eigen initiatief en meer regelgeving.
Het vervelende is alleen wel dat Kirsten niets op haar eigen site zet om naar te linken en vooral op Instagram stories deelt. Die maar tijdelijk zijn en een account nodig hebben, dus hier linken is wat onnozel. Bij RTL vind je een interview met Kirsten en vorig jaar was ik te gast bij haar podcast over dit onderwerp.

Wat me brengt bij “My website is a shifting house next to a river of knowledge”. Een inzichtelijk en lekker leesbaar artikel waarom artiesten en auteurs de architecten moeten zijn van hun eigen site. Laurel Schwulst zet op een rij hoe je een website kunt inrichten en waarom het zo belangrijk is voor creatieven. Je eigen website hoeft niet een constante stroom van blogposts te zijn (ahem…) maar kan net goed iets zijn als

• een kamer, waar je alleen hele specifieke zaken bewaart. Als het jouw uitkomt.
• een boekenplank, met wat je hebt gelezen, of nu leest. Wat je mooi vindt.
• een plant, het begint met een zaadje. Misschien één regel of één idee op je site. Wat je langzaam uit laat groeien. Als de tijd er rijp voor is.
• een tuin, waar je op gezette tijden in tuiniert, schoffelt, onkruid (oude teksten/beelden) weghaalt en bepaalde seizoenen even met rust laat.
• een poel, iets wat tijdelijk bestaat. Een site rondom een gebeurtenis, een moment in je leven. Iets wat een begin- en eindmoment kent.
• een steen die je in de zee gooit. Een plek die je eenmaal maakt en daarna niet meer naar omkijkt. Maar dat wel bestaat op het web. Voor anderen.

Each artist should create their own space on the web, for a website is an individual act of collective ambition.

Joan Westerberg bracht eerst LinkedIn en daarna Hackernews in vervoering met haar blogpost “I Deleted My Second Brain”. Ik heb gedachten over dat artikel. Het is fijne clickbait die het lekker doet op de socials, maar inhoudelijk is het weinig nieuws onder de zon. Ik wil dit nog wat laten marineren in mijn hersenpan en, oh the irony, linken aan eigen notities en ideeën die ik over de jaren heb opgebouwd. Dus wordt nog vervolgd, maar lees zeker haar essay over de tyranny of tools, the anxiety of the unread en laat me weten wat je er van vindt. Lees dan als tegenhanger dit artikel van Remco van den Akker, waarom een eigen systeem juist wél de moeite waard is.

Over linken gesproken en wat allemaal nog niet af is, ik kwam laatst langs Linkblocks, een Federated Bookmark Manager en dat ziet er op zich wel interessant uit. Het is nog láng niet af, maar je kunt het proces volgen op Github en een eenvoudige demo proberen.

Ik heb al jaren een zwak voor zines. Ik doe er te weinig mee, ik verzamel ze niet, ik maak ze niet en ik zoek het niet actief op. Maar het is zo’n latente, passieve liefhebberij. Als het langskomt ben ik super enthousiast en laat ik dat anderen weten als het kan. Zoals op de PublicSpaces Conference, waar Astrid Poot haar mini-zines uitdeelde. Of laatst tijdens een koffie met Elmine, waar we de lol van zines deelden.
Juli is International Zine Month, des te meer reden om zines de aandacht te geven die ze verdienen!

Video-tip! Gavin Strange is de Creative Director van de UK animatie studio Aardman. Die ken je van series als Wallace & Gromit of Shaun the Sheep. Strange vertelt op Beyond Tellerrand in humoristische hyperspeed hoe we meer moeten klooien en minder de dingen overdenken. Alleen al voor zijn slides en voorbeelden is “Less thinkering and more tinkering” de moeite van het kijken waard.

Tot volgende week, blijf mooie dingen maken en abonneer je op mijn nieuwsbrief Paper Trails.

My poor ability to rote memorise permeated into other parts of me. I began to believe I have poor learning skills, so for long spurts in my life I gave up on learning anything. It also fuelled a large part of my low self-esteem because I started getting terrible grades at school.

Thankfully due to the rise of the internet in my teens I realised I could learn something quickly if I was deeply curious. I picked up photoshop, web design, and coding on my own and didn’t seem to have issues remembering steps to do something. I think it is mostly because a lot of it can be inferred from logic before it becomes part of our long-term memory.

I guess I tend to assume I have a poor all-round memory because I have a poor working memory. Yet when I was bored in secondary school I would keep myself awake by writing down lyrics of chinese songs in traditional chinese. In Singapore we learn simplified chinese, but cantopop and manga exposed me to the traditional version. On top of remembering the aural form of the lyrics, I could also write them.

It has been around 20 years since, and I can probably still remember at least half of them. A random song I haven’t heard in years can pop up on the radio and I would still be able to sing along. I can still write out chinese lyrics of hundreds of songs. As a big fan of Faye Wong, I can recite her discography in chronological order complete with the order of the tracks. Isn’t my memory strange?

There is something about conscious and repeated exposure that injects these effortlessly into my memory, but somehow it fails me if I try to remember something deliberately. I think a large part of it is due to adhd. I just cannot sustain enough attention to memorise anything consciously, except when I am in a hyperfocused state. Hyperfocus brings me the attention span not available to me in my daily life. But it is not a state I can consciously switch on. It comes and goes like a ghost I cannot chase.

I just wish I knew all of these when I was much younger so I wouldn’t have wasted so much of my life. I am probably 100x much better at studying now compared to when I was a teenager. Personally I think it is too much to ask of a teenager to ace multiple exams over multiple years that would define their life significantly at a period when they are typically in turmoil for various reasons. We designed society to be convenient for the economy instead of what actually makes sense.

Going down the rabbit hole I picked up Moonwalking with Einstein, a book where journalist Joshua Foer sought to demonstrate that anyone can having amazing memory after training with mnemonic techniques. I am not very convinced: he may have survivor’s bias – just because he can train himself to be a memory athlete doesn’t mean anybody can. Mnemonic techniques typically require good visualisation skills, which not everybody has.

But unlike my past self I now believe that it can be at least improved, because the brain is the ultimate learning engine. New neuronal connections are formed each time we are exposed to new stimuli. Like strength training a muscle, the brain can be exercised to gain improvements. Yes there is probably a threshold, but I would wager that most of us are nowhere near that threshold. Constant new learning experiences are not something most of us have as adults.

This has taught me is that in general we are too quick to believe in self-limiting narratives for ourselves. We should try to investigate if these limits are true. My working memory is poor as of now, but is it something that can be improved? I kept thinking that my memory as a whole is bad because I have accumulated too many traumatic memories (yes I see the irony) with regards to my working memory, forgetting that there are strange large repositories of things I actually can remember. Like lyrics. The spelling of a ton of words. The writing of numerous chinese characters. Phone numbers and addresses from few decades ago. Lots of random facts I’ve accumulated by reading a lot.

I hope it doesn’t come across as bragging. I am trying to express how blind we can be to parts of our selves, unconsciously choosing to have a narrow yet magnified focus on a particular part. The way this society operates (and its emphasis on rote learning) has made me feel bad about myself for most of my life. I wonder if I can slowly change that impression. 

Well, I once believed I was born physically weak. Making the conscious decision to strength-train has changed that perception. I wonder how many of these beliefs I can flip.

Another great and reflective theme for the IndieWeb Carnival. While I don’t subscribe to regrets, there are several things I might try differently if I could go back in time.

I’ve been fortunate to have a great career path and work with great people, but it was never the career I envisioned. That’s because I don’t think I had a clear vision rooted in something I was passionate about. It wasn’t until I matured in both career and life that I realized a career as a designer (more specifically, an architect) would have been fulfilling. I’ve cared about all types of design my entire life, but never connected how deeply architecture resonates with me. One “take two” would absolutely be to focus my formal education in design and pursue a career as an architect.

Also, as I’ve written about before, this blog is a bit of a “take two” for my online writing. Consolidating my writing just this one blog (vs. 3 separate ones) has been a great feeling. Sometimes a second take isn’t due to a mistake made during the first take. Sometimes the second take is because you can get new perspective by trying something again or doing it differently.

This post would become longer than I have the time to write if I listed out all the “takes” on life that have evolved into second, third or fiftieth iterations to the current perspective I embrace today. One of the beautiful things about being human is you have the opportunity to grow and evolve in any multitude of ways, so long as your outlook is that not all change is bad and you reserve yourself the right to always “take two” your thinking on any stance at any time.

I am usually pretty good about remembering birthdays since I live in my calendar. And calendar aside I cannot believe he did not let it slip for the entire day. I don't think I'd be able to handle the absurdity of it but maybe I'm just a diva.

Anyway, I felt awful and fretted about it. J and B and them told me that it was nothing to worry about. Would you be mad if someone forgot your birthday? they asked. Probably not, but I imagine I would find it a little strange if my close friend who lived with me forgot for almost the entire day. Perhaps I felt bad because last year M completely forgot about mine and I was a little more sad about it than I'd like to admit.

In my defense I had been thinking about his birthday gift for the past few weeks and I did get him something. So I guess my self-flagellation results stems from the illusion that I was not the type of person to forget close friends' birthdays being shattered.

If J was bothered by my duncehood he did not let it show. We went to Cap't Loui for dinner today, which puts a Korean spin on the traditional seafood boil. One year later, I am again dreaming of a low country boil.

The house sauce they use is sweetened by gochujang and one of their specialty sides is garlic noodles. What do you like in your seafood boil?

*   *   *

I got breakfast with S this morning at Paloma in Greenpoint. Her friend called mid-hangout and S said to her, "The next time you come here we have to go get these croissants." They were fine. I don't really think my brain has wrapped itself around the fact that a single croissant can cost eight dollars.

And here I am writing home about them. Clockwise from top left: guava and key lime danish, herbs de Provence croissant, shakshuka croissant

After breakfast I suggested going to the library to work. Libraries here tend to have a lot of homeless people in them and in this location a few slept in the sunlit chairs facing the windows. I wasn't bothered, but when one started snoring loudly A said it was our cue to get out of here. "Doesn't that bother you?" she asked.

I was confused. "Why? Just tune it out."

"You're so tame," she replied as she packed up her things.

tame: INFORMAL
(of a person) willing to cooperate.

Later I asked her how she was feeling about her breakup. Her face lit up. "Oh! I don't know if it's because I'm getting older, but I feel like I just forgot and moved on after a while. Don't you feel that way too?"

I think the only part of breakups that has gotten easier for me is that I have learned the hard way what I should be doing and (more importantly) not doing after they happen. But when it comes to how much I suffer, if anything they get harder the older I get. My body takes longer to heal. Forgetting is so long. I think about things more now. I want everything to make sense.

*   *   *

I brought J to work with me on Friday. She'd brought me to her office a few times in the past, but her office isn't quite as nice and she doesn't know anyone that works there. I introduced her to my friends at work, who later asked me if we were dating. I explained that we were not. I always find it a little mind-boggling (and sad) how many people struggle to comprehend the existence of close platonic friendships between genders, not least because they make up the majority of my friendships.

*   *   *

I loved Sylvia's moments that stick in [her] mind, so much so that I have half a mind to steal the idea and write my own list. But what a depressing list it would be...

Hacks, Season 4
This season was a return to form with a hilarious yet heartfelt storyline, non-stop one-liners, new and exciting characters, and fun celebrity cameos. The relationship between Deborah and Ava is much more mature as the season develops, and the major turn of the season is unexpected. Jimmy and Kayla remain the MVPs of the series, and the addition of Randi to their twosome is inspired. I laughed, a lot, and can’t wait for next season.

Great British Baking Show, Season 15
There’s not much I can say about this show that I haven’t said before: its reality tv at its sweetest (pun intended) and perhaps best. You grow to love every contestant, are enamored by the judges and hosts, and the baking is always mouth-watering. This season, however, was probably the first where, after the first few episodes, I had no idea the eventual winner was going to win. Was a lovely result.

Another Simple Favor
There was a moment, about a third of the way through the movie, when we contemplated giving up on the film, but decided to give it a little bit more to see if it got better. It didn’t. And despite that we watched the whole thing. The writing is pure schlock and the outfits weren’t even as good this time as they were in the first film. Anna Kendrick and Blake Lively are usually fun to watch, but this material is abysmal rendering the two leads barely watchable. Did make me want to go to Capri, though.

Severance, Season 2
Undoubtedly, a second season of a series will be compared to its first, but in this case, the comparison would be inapt. This season of Severance is wildly different than the first, making it better and worse at the same time. The show keeps its tone and timbre, and the look stays the same, but the story goes to places you couldn’t imagine. Season one left us with some cliffhangers, and those are aptly dealt with in season two, which introduces new plot twists and characters and setting all with intrigue and mystery. I really hope they don’t keep us waiting three years for the next season.