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Over the past couple of years (why do Americans drop the "of" from that?) I've been getting increasingly "Marie Kondo" about the way the blog looks. The initial redesign in 2016 was to a more minimal one column look and, since then, I have eschewed various facets that traditionally make a blog a blog.

From time to time I'll have a purge, noting to myself that there has been feature creep but there is a disparity between the public face of the site and what goes on in the background.

I look at the site now, with the Daily view as default, and wonder where it could go from here. Beyond culling the actual Today view (with its full menu and links to previous days, thus making the blog truly ephemeral) I think I would need to start looking at that background activity.

I'm rarely on micro.blog these days - using it mainly as a distribution and comment system - so have considered removing the RSS feed from my account there. Again. This would mean less engagement, relying on people subscribing to the feed directly. Then I think about removing support for webmentions as the replies from micro.blog form the bulk of any I receive.

I don't send that many external webmentions and most of the sites I "like" in posts don't support indieweb technologies so how much would I be really be loosing out on? Then again, one of the main uses I have for webmentions is my "related posts" functionality which I would be unhappy to lose.

And then I wonder what's behind all this? Why do I feel the constant need to change things, pare them down? Some of the things I've added have definitely been of the "because I can" variety, there for the sake of curiosity and to see if I could get them to work. But why the need to tinker?

I'm reminded of a recent comment from Bix:

"Who cares?"

But, for whatever reason, I do.

Thinking back to Stephen Pressfield's post yesterday maybe the changes are all a surrogate for what I haven't done, what I continue to not do. Maybe they are the manifestations of the pain and self-reproach from having this unlived life and unfulfilled potential.

Very likely.

Knowing this to be the case it befalls on me to do something about it and I believe a change in direction in the coming months will do just that, giving me a goal and some much needed additional purpose. I'm really looking forward to sharing.

In the meantime I just have to get over myself, try to get on with what's important, focus rather than give in the distractions of that self-reproach.

Easier said than done.

Being the strictly plain text/Markdown kinda guy I am I've always resisted the move to the block editor in WordPress (aka Gutenberg) but have been curious about it for a while.

I decided to take a quick look earlier but my theme (a highly customised version of an old, old Automattic offering) isn't compatible with blocks.

I could probably make it compatible but think it wouldn't be worth the effort and I've yet to find a clear and concise guide to building block compatibility into existing themes. I could also move to a newer theme with compatibility built in but would then have to spend far too much time and effort reintroducing all the indieweb elements.

Again, it's just not worth it.

So, as the old saying says, if it ain't broke...

This blog is more like a trilogy than a single work, (or at least the first three parts in a series:

• Book 1 (parts 1 & 2) are all about social media - it's two parts because I took a hiatus,
• Book 2 - ownership, control and the indieweb, setting the scene
• Book 3 - more personal, more about me and how I'm dealing with things

Book 1 was me trying to be something I wasn't, exploring an exciting time but doing so in a way that was trying to force things, trying to be the next someone else and not me, trying to be found.

Book 2 was a voyage of discovery, almost a rebellion against the whole idea of the first part. It was still, perhaps, me trying to be something else, not entirely myself but it was a definite improvement.

Book 3 takes the lessons from book 2, strips them down and gets to work. It's where I wish I always had been.

The old blog (2003 - 2008) was a mixture, very much a rough draft written by an inexperienced hand. It mixed the personal with the geeky but not in such a pretentious way. It served almost as a template for what I'm doing now. Now, however, I'm a better writer, a deeper thinker, more at ease with what I'm doing.

There are times I wish I hadn't taken breaks, hadn't moved my writing away from the blog, but then wonder if I would still be stuck writing Book 1, never progressing. I realise that, although it leaves gaps, I needed to step away to move on to the next part.

Some can claim to have blogged every day for the past 15 or 20 years and I say good luck to them, they were lucky to have found their voice early. I have had to rediscover my voice both figuratively and literally and am still finding it now, but it's mine, not an approximation or impression of anyone else.

And that is all I could ask for.

Rebecca writes that it's nice to receive comments directly on her blog,

"... but then, comments haven't exactly disappeared. They are well and alive on Facebook and Instagram, but why does it just feel different?"

As I said recently, "we got away from visiting the sites themselves." By living in various social and other feeds we have distanced ourselves from the original source, disconnected the conversations. The convenience offered allows us to subscribe to more and more, in many cases we don't even need to visit the original site to get an RSS feed, for example - the tools will do that for us.

The more we fill our feeds the harder it becomes to revert to source, browsing so many pages is no longer an option.

With webmentions we can pipe remote comments to our own site using the power of the #indieweb (let's face it, micro.blog is essentially a commenting system for me) but even then it feels special for someone to come directly to your site.

It's not just about control and ownership of the conversation, it's a recognition of the time they have invested in you as "it takes effort for people to find their way to personal websites / blogs".

Minimum viable social actions may give an initial, instant dopamine hit but are ultimately worthless. The extra effort is so worth it.

Liked: Rebecca Toh - The Old Internet...

"...for now we can take back the internet by going back to creating our own websites and blogs and even newsletters and relying less, far less, on the cursed social networks."

I'm definitely all for taking back the web! I may have sworn off social networks for my own reasons but I think cursed is a bit much; there is undoubtedly good that can come from their use. My wife, for example, is the reverend for an online church holding services, other events, and performing sermons via Facebook Live video. Now, that couldn't happen very easily without such a network.

But there are a lot of problems, not least the image painted by Rebecca of a "faceless person scrolling down a screen endlessly for all eternity, but yet for whom satisfaction never comes."

Use of social media should be intentional, not be the default fallback when bored, the mindless time sink through which we compare ourselves to others and, due to the perils of manufactured perfection, so often come up short.

It is good, therefore, to see when folks like Rebecca state that her site will continue as:

"... A repository for my thoughts and my internet identity... my private playground, my own little corner of the neighbourhood... where I can document my obsessions and do pretty much anything I want."

Also, that "there are no rules" governing what she will post.

Brilliant! A perfect #indieweb attitude.

As I have said, my blog and email addresses are the canonical representation of me on the internet and that's just how it should be, not allowing the public facing version of ourselves to be at the mercy of a third party.

I was put on to Rebecca by Patrick and subscribing was a no brainer.