# This blog is more like a trilogy than a single work, (or at least the first three parts in a series:
- Book 1 (parts 1 & 2) are all about social media - it's two parts because I took a hiatus,
- Book 2 - ownership, control and the Indieweb, setting the scene
- Book 3 - more personal, more about me and how I'm dealing with things
Book 1 was me trying to be something I wasn't, exploring an exciting time but doing so in a way that was trying to force things, trying to be the next someone else and not me, trying to be found.
Book 2 was a voyage of discovery, almost a rebellion against the whole idea of the first part. It was still, perhaps, me trying to be something else, not entirely myself but it was a definite improvement.
Book 3 takes the lessons from book 2, strips them down and gets to work. It's where I wish I always had been.
The old blog (2003 - 2008) was a mixture, very much a rough draft written by an inexperienced hand. It mixed the personal with the geeky but not in such a pretentious way. It served almost as a template for what I'm doing now. Now, however, I'm a better writer, a deeper thinker, more at ease with what I'm doing.
There are times I wish I hadn't taken breaks, hadn't moved my writing away from the blog, but then wonder if I would still be stuck writing Book 1, never progressing. I realise that, although it leaves gaps, I needed to step away to move on to the next part.
Some can claim to have blogged every day for the past 15 or 20 years and I say good luck to them, they were lucky to have found their voice early. I have had to rediscover my voice both figuratively and literally and am still finding it now, but it's mine, not an approximation or impression of anyone else.
And that is all I could ask for.
Comments
# Don't get me wrong, I have written some good stuff throughout the life of the blog, some things I am incredibly proud of, and been involved in wonderful, thought provoking discussions because of it. I just wish that much of it had been coming from a different place.
Still, we learn and we grow, we're never the finished article and, except in those rarest of cases, it takes time to become who we were meant to be.
# For the past couple of days I've been sat with just the last page left of my current notebook, two measly sides of paper.
Partly it's because I've steered clear of going back and forth between paper and screen because of my eye - I've opted to go directly to the phone to cut down on the time I'm having to concentrate. However, it's also been because I wanted to keep things neat and tidy. I didn't want to start something that might roll over to another notebook.
In a way it makes sense but I wonder whether I have been limiting myself unnecessarily. Again, it's a case of so what? Would it really matter if I was forced to span two notebooks?
Still, it's irrelevant now; writing about the "issue" has used that last page, just how I sometimes write about having writer's block to cure writer's block.
Next!
@colinwalker I had a look back at my earliest blogs (2003-2006) via the Wayback Machine. I definitely had more tech-lust back them, and much more snark. The years have tempered me, as has the availability of better blogging tools.
@AlanRalph Same. I haven't reviewed my own blogs but I know that I walk away from nearly all arguments on social media now, whereas I dove in back then. And I barely feel the upgrade tug anymore, whereas in the past I HAD to have the latest gadget.
@AlanRalph I've always been geeky but 2003-2007 that geekiness was a lot more genuine, it was purely for the love of the tech. It was pretty much all Microsoft based (Exchange, SharePoint) as I ran my own network and servers at home and hosted my own blog.
The shift to focusing on social and the journalistic approach to blogging (2008 and after) really changed things and, looking back, was more a false approach compared to the joy and naivety from the earlier blog.
There are now elements of the two but both more refined and genuine.
Two years ago today (has it really been that long) I said I was "very much an adherent of the 'life model' of blogging". Looking back I don't think I was truly there; I was still in "Book 2" of my blogging journey. Now that I am in the next phase of my online existence I'm still not entirely convinced that I am following the "life model" or if I'm even getting there. Maybe I just don't have an exact picture in my mind of what a life model means for me. Or, maybe I'm being too harsh and looking for something that's not there.
There's something I've noticed over the past couple of weeks, something that I need to work out. When writing on paper, rather than on the screen, the act is separated from posting so makes me think deeper about things as there is less distraction. It makes me feel like I should be writing something meaningful every time I pick up the pen. That's surely a good thing, right? Using my phone to post more while I've had this issue with my eye has highlighted the different ways I think and post. I have been posting more frequent, shorter, quick-fire items rather than the more considered pieces. I look at the "On this day" section and, for previous years, see numerous posts per day: a more conversational style, a stream of consciousness approach. I miss that. When I talk about "Book 2" I think that approach was one of the things I got right and is definitely something I want to get back to. Not all the time. The new daily feed will obviously work best when there are multiple posts written in such a fashion but I have to find the right blend, establish the correct balance that allows me to do both and not artificially limit myself. Going offline and writing by hand is absolutely one of the best things I've done recently; it's taught me quite a bit about how I think and approach things, although I'm still only on the first steps of the journey. If I am to truly live the "life model of blogging" 1 then I need to allow myself the freedom to post whatever, whenever, however and not get caught up on the whys and wherefores. There aren't any rules to this game so why do I keep changing them?
Yes, I linked to a full day rather than an individual post. I felt the two posts on that day set the perfect context and should be read together. ↩