I started another quasi-weeknote at the weekend but didn't get past the opening paragraph. A mixture of apathy and distraction meant I got no further.
I'm still in a creative slump and it's been about a month since I even turned on any of my gear. I fired up Ableton Live but only to export a couple of test recordings that will likely never make it to finished tracks:
They're both essentially complete yet short and don't fully explore what I wanted to do with them. Still, they hold up well enough to be shared even if it's a shame they won't go any further. Monkey has about the hardest kick drum I've ever put in a track and one of the best acid lines I've made in ages. It feels like a bit of a waste.
I was holding back on releasing "Not Enough Dictionaries to Cry" as Monkey was going to join it. It's been done for almost two months so I think it's time to get it out there. Maybe later today.
The new WoW expansion is great fun, the best in ages, and feels like proper Warcraft again. We bought the 'Epic Edition' of the update to get the early access and it's been monopolising all my time. I have utterly immersed myself in the story and world.
It's been to the detriment of other stuff and, as I said before, I know it's a form of escapism but it's hard to shift the mindset as I shrink within myself.
We rejoined Costco recently and have made a couple of trips over the past two weeks. My anxiety has kicked in heavily both times and it's been hard to manage that and not bolt for the door. Fortunately, my wife is fantastic at keeping me focused and grounded so I've gotten through it without too much damage.
In keeping with the 'treat yourself like you are' mantra she bought me a diary/journal designed for those with inattentive ADHD. It has to-do lists, gratitude logs and 'big wins' sections, amongst others, and is supposed to help keep you on track when distracted. The problem is that I keep forgetting to use it.
I've long battled with physically writing things down by hand (as mentioned here numerous times over the years) and struggle to build a routine with it as the focus.
It was good to get back to Tai Chi this week after two weeks out. 1 I've previously described Tai Chi as "full body meditation" but the body soon forgets when you're out of practice.
Rather than the specific moves, the biggest thing is moving in a way that you're just not used to in normal daily life — everything is slow and deliberate — so it's hard to adjust and resist the temptation to rush.
I suppose it's a metaphor for life in general.
The teacher has some videos on YouTube which I've watched a few times. I might try to establish a habit of putting them on the TV in the lounge and do a regular morning session.
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last week was the summer break after I hurt my knee the week before ↩
