# I was thinking more about subscription apps, usage and how I spend most of my creative time on my phone.
I was mostly forcing myself to use Ulysses on the MacBook as I hadn't yet done so post subscription - almost to justify the monthly expense as much as get the benefit from the cross-platform installation.
And I started thinking "what are the alternatives?"
Subscription vs paid upfront? Paid vs free? And, is a premium app even required?
I started looking at some other apps to ensure I was aware of the options but it actually goes way beyond the app quandary.
Drafts is, without question, my most used app but it's not designed to do everything. I don’t think I could rely solely on it without changing my workflow (workflow with a small w.)
Change! That’s a scary thing
But it shouldn’t be. Perhaps I should be looking at alternatives like I did with email apps. Okay, so with those I ended up exactly where I started but that validation likely showed I was on the right path.
At least for me.
Will it be the same with text apps and blogging?
There’s no point me looking at another premium app. I couldn’t afford or justify Ulysses for the Mac without subscription so something of a similar cost, like Scrivener, is not an option.
I need to be honest with myself and ask what do I really need?
Is relying on Workflow to publish viable? It seems, at least in the short term, it is for simpler posts but not posts with multiple images unless I change the way I do things.
There's that word again!
Do then, I need something that can publish directly to WordPress? Does it need to be cross-platform? For the former almost certainly. For the latter, ideally yes if it is to be my only app so maybe something like iA Writer or ByWord.
But I've not had that before now and managed okay. Yes, Ulysses is installed on both phone and MacBook but I’ve not historically been using it that way. Everything has been done on the phone. It always has.
I think I like the idea of having Ulysses available on the MacBook more than I actually need it considering how little I use a laptop. Although I do use the MacBook considerably more than my previous Windows laptop.
Looking at it from another angle, maybe it's the push I need towards 'slow writing' - to spend longer on posts again, to write more long form pieces and redefine what kind of blogger I am.
While I have removed most temptation from my phone (no games, no big social networks) it doesn't stop me wanting to get thoughts out as quickly as possible resulting in a lot of them being shorter pieces that wouldn't be out of place on Facebook.
I may have posted for 172 consecutive days but how much of that is actual writing? What have I had to say during most of that time?
I call myself a writer but what does that really mean? And do I subconsciously equate having a premium writing app with being one?
This post has taken an unexpected turn and maybe this is my real issue: can I justify a premium app subscription if I no longer see myself as a writer?
A blogger, yes. I post stuff to a blog with occasional insight but an actual writer?
I think this is why the simple question "what kind of blogger are you" has had such an impact. It turns out I was already wondering this so, when a non-English speaker phrased their question incorrectly, it set a process in motion and opened the floodgates to a range of emotions that had been previously contained.
Maybe even denied.
I feel like my blogging should mean something again, that I should earn the title 'writer' instead of just assuming it because I just happen to write words on a virtual page.
Anyone can do that. Not anyone can do it well!