/blog

Yesterday, I had what I thought was going to be a difficult conversation at work.

Since covid, my employer has gradually been increasing the required time in office for staff. This week they announced that everyone under a certain grade will have to start going in three days a week, everyone else (more senior staff) 4 days.

I fall into the first category so would need to go from my current two days a week to three. ¹

I currently struggle with those two days — mental health reasons etc. — so the thought of three days fills me with a sense of dread.

An exception process exists where you can request more flexible working arrangements so I wanted to discuss following this.

Additionally, I have effectively been doing two jobs for much of this year: my main role, and a secondary role with another team.

Since my issues and subsequent time off earlier this year, I have been really struggling with context switching between those two things so wanted to step back from the secondary role.

I wasn't sure if either request would be received very well.

Fortunately, my manager is very understanding with regards to mental health issues and extremely supportive. She would rather I do what I can consistently rather than trying to force things and potentially go off sick again. She gets that a one-size-fits-all arrangement doesn't work.

The exception process exists for a reason.

My bigger worry was with regards to the secondary role. Last year, I had asked for opportunities to widen my remit — this role is what came of that. It is, however, very involved and a full time thing on its own. Since returning from my time off, I have found it increasingly difficult to manage both things, be pulled in different directions.

It's not so much as issue of temporal capacity, more mental capacity. I just don't have the headspace to deal with them both right now, and I would rather concentrate on my main role (even if it's a bit boring) than do a bad job of both.

Again, my manager agrees and doesn't want to overload me. She even broached the subject with the other manager on my behalf, which I wasn't expecting.

The previous time I was off sick, it was for five months. This time, I returned from a breakdown after only seven weeks. It felt like too long to be off again, but probably wasn't anywhere near enough. I felt guilty about being off and it likely accelerated both my return and that I didn't do so on a phased basis.

Maybe I'm regretting that a bit now.

Still, both of my managers have been brilliant which is such a wait off my mind. I can relax a bit.

I've been commended for coming forward on my own terms, even though it was incredibly hard to do, before things got out of hand and left things very sour.

Things have been left open so I can return when I feel I'm able, so no bridges have been burnt.