I updated my /now page to include that I was back in Talking Therapy.
While the CBT in 2023 was okay, I don't think it really gave me the tools I needed. We spent a lot of time talking about thoughts and feelings but not enough on how to change them.
Today was my second session out of 6 (that's sadly all you get on the NHS) and we're taking a different approach. In the first session I said that I specifically wanted to target tools and techniques to tackle the negative thought spirals as they seem to trigger, or contribute to, most of everything else.
I know why my brain acts as it does and what I should be doing but need a kickstart rather than rehashing the same old ground.
So, for the next week, I have some homework: keeping a thoughts diary. What were they? What triggered them? How bad were they? And, how did they make me feel?
The therapist is looking for patterns and a way in, a chink in the armour we can exploit.
The natural pessimist in me says we won't get far with only four sessions left but I've got to approach this in a positive way. Anything I can take from it is better than nothing.
