The real joy of this project wasn’t just in getting the search working but the refinement, the polish, the edge bits. Getting lost for hours in a world of my own construction. Even though I couldn’t control the looming pandemic, I could control this tiny cluster of bits.
The whole process was an escape, but an escape with forward momentum ... The point being that a habit of reaching for code is not only healing for the self, but a trick to transmute a sense of dread into something: A function that seems to add, however trivially, a small bit of value to the greater whole in a troubling moment.
This is such a familiar sentiment. When I wrote that working on the blog had become all-consuming it was this exact framing that comes to mind. At the time I called it avoidance but I think escape is more accurate, and not just mindless escape — that sense of being able to create something, to be productive, even while the world around you is in a mess, is remarkably cathartic.
A blog might not be the most important or vital of things but I can relate to Craig's statement "I was healed by a CMS" when discussing how he rewrote his personal website. Building my own site may not cure anything but it helps to silence the noise and keep the monsters at bay, if only for a while.
And that's enough for me., at least for now.