02/11/2020

# 4:30 am and I've been awake since before 3, mentally posting each half hour but think I've finally acknowledged that sleep won't be returning.

I'm due to get up in an hour as I'm on the early shift this week. Maybe anxiety about work is why I can't sleep, that and stress about not being able to find something else.

The wind from earlier has subsided leaving the steady, constant white noise of rain falling but even that isn't enough to lull me back into a slumber.

I know I should probably just get up rather than laying here, waiting for my alarm, getting more frustrated with myself as the minutes pass, but I cling to the hope that maybe I'll doze off for a while. To sleep, perchance to dream.

# It's curious how the phrase "to sleep, perchance to dream" is so often used in the wrong context. I suppose it's a good soundbite. Hamlet says this during the "to be or not to be" soliloquy but he is actually talking about the release of death - likely by suicide - and that not even this may release him from his mental anguish:

For in that sleep of death what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause.

Ay, there's the rub indeed.

# Wrote considerably more in an email reply than I had originally intended and hope that I haven't over-stepped.

Colin Walker Colin Walker colin@colinwalker.blog