Over time I forget a lot of what I’ve already written. Although each post will be tempered and coloured by new experiences I don’t like to repeat myself without adding extra value or insight.
It frustrates me that I have had thoughts and ideas which haven’t sunk in, haven’t become part of my conscious reasoning.
Perhaps this is the result of writing when tired, when the subconscious comes to the fore and spews out whatever is held within.
That in itself is no bad thing, the unconscious act of creation is perhaps the most honest, the most insightful, but a lasting conscious memory of it would make it more real.
It’s almost like trying to adopt the product of my subconscious as though it was an external influence.
It seems strange to think that I am seeking to internalise something that has already come from inside me.
It is the transition from subconscious to conscious that makes it more valid, to take those crazy thoughts and rationalise them under the scrutiny of my externally projected psyche.
It feels weird when these minipiphanies arise from nowhere, thoughts emerging fully formed as though created by another then handed to you.
They don’t feel part of you but are actually part of you in the realest sense; a translation from thought to word to truth.
Aligning the internal mechanisms with the external message.
Based on Write365 – 16th June 2014
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