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Yesterday was a BIG day: I had my assessment for ADHD and received confirmation of what we suspected, that I do indeed have it.

I had assumed that I just had the inattentive type, but various behaviours I hadn't considered mean that I also exhibit the hyperactive type. The resultant diagnosis is, therefore, Combined ADHD.

Over the past couple of years, I have reframed a lot of things from my earlier life through a neurodivergent lens, but the assessment yesterday made me realise just how much of my behaviour in childhood and my teens can actually be associated with this.

It brought back so many memories from school and my childhood years in general; things that I hadn't thought of in years but bubbles to the surface in response to the right questions.

While the assessment was only for ADHD (I'm still to have one for autism) the assessor said it was obvious from my answers that there is a constant push-pull battle going on inside my head with each side fighting for dominance.

Don't I know it!

What's possibly hardest to process is that there are so many things I've never really given a second thought — I thought they were "normal" because I'd never known any different — but were/are major indicators. While I've learnt to control some of them (often through sheer necessity of societal expectations, growing up and getting jobs) the impulses are still there. I may not actually on them but likely would if I could and there were no repercussions.

I'll get my official report in a couple of weeks so it will interesting to read exactly what's been written about me.