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I think all of this happened in the check-in part, so before I was actually inside the gates area. I get the impression that I was going to travel by myself for work reasons, and losing my flight meant I had to explain to my boss why, since the company had paid for it; though I wasn't really that worried about this as I was about not finding the ticket.

It's an interesting dream. Airplanes take you places, and I interpret them to be a symbol of growth. The check-in booth is important since it is a liminal area, representing the threshold between normal life and access to the mechanisms of change and travel.

My misplacing of the tickets is strange, since I'm usually quite well organized in these matters, not to mention that technology makes most of the work for us nowadays. This means that perhaps this is an important symbol here. The ticket is sort of my authorization to undergo the process of transformation. Maybe the fact that I thought I had it but can't find it suggests I'm not yet internally convinced that I'm actually ready to undergo this transformation, even though I desire it?

Another interesting symbol is the clerk. He stoutly keeps rejecting my attempts at authentication, over and over. Maybe he can be seen as a king of critic here? I wonder though if he's being a protector (protecting me from something I'm not ready to experience), or whether he's a negative influence (sabotaging my attempt at self-growth). Maybe he can actually be both at the same time? The strict, unfriendly attitude seems to suggest the latter, but the fact that I don't view him as the enemy (I'm my own enemy here) suggests it can also be a bit of the former. Though I think it's more negative than positive, as the attitude does seem to be saying You're probably not good enough.

A core conclusion that comes to mind here is that I might be stuck in some sort of loop. I know I have the tickets, but my standards for allowing myself to grow are impossibly high.

First, we walk out of the village and head under this beautiful old bridge. This is where we start our ascent into the Welsh hills. On the way back down, we’ll go under a viaduct as we return to the village.

Apparently, this bridge and viaduct date back to Roman times (obviously they’ve been improved or rebuilt since then). A popular history show in the UK, Time Team, actually did an episode in our village:

Anyway, I digress. On with the walk…

We start heading up the hills. The dogs are starting to pant and I’m starting to sweat, but it’s worth it once you see the views.

On the way up, we see some of Carl’s sheep (he’s the local farmer). We always stop to say hello, but I was too busy scratching an itch between one of the ewe’s ears to take a photo – sorry!

As we head further over the hills, we notice that Carl has some of his calves out in the fields too. So we stop, and they wander over to see what we’re doing. Both dogs and calves have a good sniff of one another. I’m even subjected to a couple of sniffs myself.

All sniffed out, we continue onto a bridle path and start heading down the other side of the hill. We go past the wonky tree (that’s what our kids call it). Lots of horses use this path, but we didn’t pass any today unfortunately.

As we come out of the bridle path, we’re greeted with more lovely views of the Welsh hills, and Barnie, the local Shetland pony, comes to say hello.

We’re well on our way down from the hills now, moving onto a fire road that winds down through some woodland.

Halfway down there’s this lovely house with an old canal boat in the garden. I always gorp at this house as it’s so gorgeous. I didn’t take a photo of it though – that felt a bit rude. But trust me, it’s beautiful.

At the bottom of the fire road, we head under the viaduct and back into the village.

As we head back in, I hear one of Carl’s cows mooing in the distance – probably mum to one of the calves we saw earlier, and likely related to the cows he put on our land a couple of years ago.

That’s a lot to take in on a relatively short 3 mile (5 km) walk, which is part of why I love living here. It’s just so beautiful. Imagine how much we see when we do the much longer walks at the weekend!

Anyway, the dogs are tired, I’ve done some exercise, and it’s time to sign on for work as my first meeting starts soon.

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I know some folks (cough, cough, John Siracusa, cough) want Apple to go even further and make the lighter color on the right extend all the way to the edges of the the icon…I can understand that, and the desire for the line between the two halves of the icon to be more rounded as it is in macOS Sequoia.

This is a classic example of long-time Apple followers and their navel-gazing. It’s not even the first thing I notice about the new Tahoe OS—actually, I don’t notice it at all. Finder and its look is the least important thing for me. When I look at the betas, what stands out are the small but meaningful improvements in visionOS 26. They make me confident that Apple’s AR glasses, when they arrive, will be more than competitive. Same goes for improvements in iPadOS. If there’s any valid criticism to make about Apple right now, it’s how poorly AI has been integrated. The new Shortcuts, in particular, still feel frustratingly outdated in the so-called AI age.

Today at work I had my goal-setting meeting with my supervisor for my second year. It went more or less as I expected: similar but slightly more ambitious goals than last year. Since we had some extra time, I asked her what promotion looks like for my role. What's the next position up? What do I need to get there?

"I don't know," she said. "Out of curiosity, why do you want a promotion?"

This sent my brain into the rainbow pinwheel spiral. I don't know, why do I want a promotion? Because I feel like I should...?

"Is it monetary, or that you want the feedback that you're doing well?"

I feel pretty comfortable being honest with my supervisor, so I told her both. Which I think is the right answer. Even if a promotion didn't come with a bump in pay I'd probably still at least attempt to pursue it. I don't know why. I told J this and he said what I was thinking, which is that this is just the way we're wired, to pursue the next thing to avoid stagnating, even if we're not sure we even want what comes with it.

She told me she'd look into it. I guess that's about as much as I can ask for.

The good news is that it doesn't seem like I work at the sort of place where not getting promoted or not inquiring about it reflects negatively on you. Apparently plenty of people stay in the very same position for years. This is somewhat comforting. But I'm not sure I want to be doing this sort of work for the rest of my life, nor am I sure I'd enjoy whatever the responsibilities of the mysterious unknown next title above mine would entail. Just thinking about this all brings me to the precipice of a maelstrom of existential corporate career-related dread and anxiety. In the past I've been fortunate (?) enough to work at places that defined my path for me so I could avoid looking inwards and dealing with the discomfort of figuring out what I wanted, even if the paths were ones I knew I didn't like or want. Here, there seems to be no such path.

On that note I'm reminded of this text Mom sent me today: 你有时候也不错，挺认真，就是好多事 都不管 有点懒. Google translates this to "you are not bad sometimes, you are serious, but you don't care about many things and you are a bit lazy." It's not a perfect translation but it still sums this up pretty well, I'd say. A shame this is one of those many things I don't really care about until I am forced to.

I emailed her and said that I totally think she should go for it if she feels like it. I’d appreciate it, which probably means some other readers would too.

After writing that, I realized I’m very much the same way myself. So the email ended with this little self-reflection:

That said, I kind of struggle with the same thing when it comes to my own blog. So I guess I’m not exactly practicing what I preach 😅

It’s true! I wrestle with stuff like this all the time. And judging by my post The overthinking blogger, I’m clearly not alone.

In my case, I think it’s a constant journey of trying to find that “perfect” blogging balance. Trying to figure out the right ingredients based on some made-up recipe in my head of what’s too much or too little.

The Swedish word lagom (just the right amount) comes to mind. Rumor has it that Sweden is the only country with a word for that. I’m not sure if that’s true. Maybe it is. If so, it’s kind of funny, because it’s also a sign that the word is pretty much useless, since finding that balance is nearly impossible. Or at the very least, it’s something very personal.

Since moving my blog over to Micro.blog, a lot of new possibilities have opened up when it comes to posting different types of content. I’m still testing the waters, trying to figure out what feels lagom for me.

And I think that’s the key: for me.

I love blogging, and I love when others enjoy what I post. But in the end, I have to put myself first.

Otherwise, I’ll get bored. And probably quit.