/reader

But this weekend, I watched a new movie that generated that sense of wonder for me, and it wasn’t the type of film you’d expect. I watched a direct-to-video independent Aussie film titled Primitive War that just blew me away for all the right reasons.

When I first watched the trailer for Primitive War I was skeptical. I am not a fan of the SyFy original movie/Aslyum feature style releases. I don’t find intentionally bad filmmaking entertaining, nor do I find injecting a script full of humor because you know your special effects or story won’t hold up as amusing. When I watched the Primitive War trailer, I felt like the film might be more in that realm of filmmaking. I was very wrong.

The story goes that Luke Sparke, read the self-published book Primitive War by Ethan Pettus and wanted to adapt the film. He shopped the story around to Hollywood studios, but no one was willing to make a dinosaur film when Jurassic World dominates the box office. He developed the film independently and managed to do the visual effects in-house to save on costs.

The production alone is a fascinating story, but when it came to the actual film, I was surprised by how much I enjoyed it. The visual effects were solid. At times they were fantastic, other times they left a lot to be desired, but I can be forgiving of bad CGI when you make a film for $7 million, I’m less forgiving when you have a Marvel budget.

The writer of the novel, Ethan Pettus co-wrote the script and you can see the love and care for crafting an intelligent story. While no one is going to mistake this for The Godfather, every character serves a purpose and has an actual arc. The acting, which is anchored by Ryan Kwanten (True Blood), Tricia Helfer (Battlestar Galactica, and Jeremy Piven (Entourage) is more than sufficient. Sure, there are a few questionable accents, but again… this isn’t a Hollywood production.

What I truly loved about the film was it wasn’t afraid to show the dinosaurs, and on top of that, they actually went for a more accurate representation of the beasts. For the first time, since the first Jurassic Park, the dinosaurs were actually scary. They were vicious and unrelenting, and even the most innocent looking dinosaurs created for some truly horrific moments.

Now, obviously I overlook some rough edges because of the budget, but I appreciate that it tells a coherent and interesting story, featuring entertaining characters. With that being said, this is still a B movie. This is a fun, popcorn flick full of people being eaten and ripped in half. It’s not nearly as classy as Jurassic Park, but its definitely more entertaining than any of it’s sequels. This comes from a guy who considers Jurassic Park a perfect movie and enjoys the franchise.

I think what I loved most about watching Primitive War was being able to sit in awe for the first time in years. I sat watching the screen and wondering just how did they manage to pull this off for $7 million dollars. I mean, if the budget was $30 million, I still would have been impressed. So, I appreciate Luke Sparke for giving me a chance to wonder, “How did they do this?” in what I feel will probably be one of the last times in my life. It reminded me of why folks talk about the magic of the movies, and in a world of four quadrant films, uninteresting horror movies, and the trash that most streaming services put out, this was a very welcome watch.

Last week, I got a bit of a reality check from my wife. This year has not been great for me, and mentally it’s taken a toll. Between the politics, the fuckwads on the internet, the rise of consumerism, and what seems to be the slow erosion of society, I’ve found myself struggling a lot. When you combine that with an unhappy job that doesn’t pay enough, I’ve transitioned into survival mode, which isn’t pleasant for anybody.

I actually tried out a new therapist last month (it didn’t work out), and I’ve been trying things outside the box to hopefully offer me a bit of space and calmness in my life, with varying degrees of success. My poor wife, who has now twice sat me down to explain her concerns about my mental health and where it could lead, emphasized my need to prioritize some healthier habits and to step outside the negativity a bit more.

In the past, when I’ve found myself drowning in negativity, I’ve looked towards the past. I tap into the nostalgia and that tends to help quite a bit. I revisit old hobbies, interests, and movies that have brought me joy, and I try to squeeze a bit of joy from them. I also would reach out to an old friend, Jennifer, who always down to talk about anything retro at any time. I can’t even begin to count the number of times, I’ve shot her an email telling her that I need a break from the real world and I need to submerge myself into the 80s or 90s, and then in our email exchange she’d make some suggestions, and I’d spend a week or two exploring some forgotten TV show or movie I somehow missed growing up.

Last year, I discovered Jennifer passed away. It came as a shock to me, and well… I miss her, especially at a time like this. She was never one to judge, and would always remind me that the past was a good place to visit, but not a place to live. A soft reminder that I would need from time-to-time.

I’ve made a real effort the last couple of days to listen to some 80s and 90s music, watch some old sitcoms, and to take a break from all the noise out there, and this morning, I woke up, and I wanted to email Jen and tell her how I found myself on this end of the cycle once more. Of course, I didn’t, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I needed to tell someone. So, here I am telling anyone who might be reading.

Last year, I wrote a blog post when I discovered Jen had passed away. Since I stepped away earlier this year and reset my blog, it’s no longer on here. I’ve decided to paste it below as a little tribute to someone who probably didn’t understand how much peace she offered, just by listening to me ramble on about my frustrations with the world and how much I missed a simpler time.

Originally posted: May 1st, 2024

On December 5th, 2023 I wrote about my pen pals. That post began with:

Pikapal is my longest pen pal. She and I met on the Retro-Daze message board around ten years ago and have been in regular communication ever since. We bonded over our love of all things retro and since then we’ve kept each other abreast of our personal lives around once a month.

I last heard from Pikapal, aka Jennifer, on November 22nd. It wasn’t unusual for us to write a little less over the holidays, as my birthday fell between Thanksgiving and Christmas, and then her birthday was shortly thereafter. I had expected her to comment on my Pen Pal post, but she never did. However, the last I had heard she was struggling with her parents and trying to get a job, two common themes in our emails.

I sent her a birthday email in January, which also went unanswered, and I’m sure everyone knows where this is going.

I noticed her blog has been on a sort of autopilot this year. Partially written posts have published almost daily missing images, or maybe they are just titles with little reminders to add text. She was a meticulous blogger and spent most of her time reflecting on years gone by. I kept telling myself, she was just busy, but tonight as I was updating my links page I decided to give her name a search. I didn’t find much, but I did find an obituary. She passed away on December 23rd, a few weeks shy of her fortieth birthday.

I don’t think Jen had any friends. I don’t know if she was ever diagnosed formally with anything, but she was not a functioning adult. Her parents struggled financially, and she had trouble finding a job and learning to drive, a goal I don’t think she ever accomplished.

She was fiercely private, and I only knew her real name from her Gmail account. I only saw her once, when she shared a Facebook video of her meeting the local weatherman at the mall when the news was recording for Facebook Live.

She loved clowning. It was a goal of hers to become a clown, and that was what most of our emails were discussing. She wrote fan fiction and fake clown instruction booklets, and she’d join online clown camps and newsletters. She’d keep me up-to-date on the latest thing that triggered the clown community (The success of IT a few years back really infuriated them) and she was always planning that one day, she’d get a job, save some money, become a clown, and get away from her parents.

Jen had this incredible talent of remembering the most specific details of the most random things, like sitcom plots or rare television shows. I was always amazed at how she could pull out the most random tidbit of trivia when discussing something from the past, which is what she loved to do.

Most of her blogging (if it wasn’t about clowning) was about the past. She’d pour over old diaries, notebooks, and blogs and retell the stories from ten or twenty years ago. Yearly she also created weekly blogs that would chronicle TV shows, movies, video games, music videos, and other random trivia from the twenty years ago and thirty years ago. The only two posts she had created for 2024 prior to her passing were Twenty Music Videos from 1994 and Twenty Music Videos from 2004. Those posts were always great for finding forgotten songs from decades gone by.

Another favorite topic of hers was Where in the World is Carmen San Diego, the live action game show from the 90s. She was a huge fan of it and spent time gushing over the Rockapellas as well as the host Greg Lee. She wrote fan-fiction about the show and watched old episodes on YouTube.

She was a huge Gwen Stefani fan and I remember sharing with her that I had bought a No Doubt VHS tape back in the day. She told she had the same tape and would practice standing while watching the tape so she could build up stamina to stand that long for a concert. It made me laugh.

Our relationship was interesting. I wouldn’t say we were close because I don’t think that is something she was able to be, but we shared our mutual love for all things retro and she was passionate about sharing her frustrations with the clowning community and her inability to find a job. And that is what makes this so difficult to write, because I didn’t know Jen. I mean, I think I may have known her more than a lot of people in a strange way, but I didn’t really know her.

She didn’t use social media much and outside of her blog and some posts on Retro-Daze there isn’t much left of her online. It saddens me to think how much she struggled her adult life, only to have it cut so short. I hope wherever she is now, she has found peace.

I’ll leave this blog with the final words she ever wrote me:

Here are some more Thanksgiving themed retro tv shows: Supermarket Story; King of Queens, The One Where Underdog Gets Away; Friends, Caroline and the Balloon; Caroline in the City, and Thanks for Nothing; Martin.  I hope you have a Happy Thanksgiving too.

The photo used as a feature image on the main page is something I found on her Deviant Art page called The Power of Friendship.

Jennifer wrote:

I made this piece back in 2001 when I was in high school for art class. It is inspired by the Sailor Moon R movie. It’s about having friends and flowers. This makes a lot of sense if you saw the movie.

 

Here’s what I wrote for my description for class. “A friend can turn a shy loner into a somebody who’s important and special, and change somebody’s life. The flowers represent friendship and love.”

 

The yellow flower on the bottom is Kisenian Blossom. I know it’s not very accurate looking. I colored it form memory.

 

The materials used were: glue, magazine pages, glitter, a picture of Sailor Moon, stationery paper, and photocopies.

My father retired from the military at the age of forty. He then retired from state government five years later. That was twenty-years ago. He hasn’t worked a day since, nor has he taken care of himself. His days are spent watching YouTube, sleeping, and complaining about his deteriorating body. What once was a man who took pride in his appearance, he is now anything but. You could mistake him for being ten or fifteen years older than he actually is, and his mobility is just one step above a wheelchair. Things have been trending down for him for years, but instead of taking the advice of doctors, physical therapists, and myself, he’s chosen to deal with his chronic pain with opioids, alcohol, and other substances. His teeth are falling out and the man who once had women fawning over him when I was a child is no longer there. Time and life has not only caught up to him, but passed him by.

I harbored quite a bit of resentment towards my father over the years. I blamed him for putting me into a position in my late teenage years that made my adult life much harder than it needed to be. Then as I spent my adult life struggling financially, I watched him game the system into a huge government paycheck, all while complaining about others taking advantage of the system.

The complexity of politics only made things worse. Growing up, my father was pretty apolitical, but as so many of his peers have done, he is now engulfed in the internet outrage and twenty-four-hour news cycle. Five or six years ago, I asked him to stop bringing up politics since we were clearly on opposite sides and nothing good came of the debates, but he never respected that boundary and that has only fueled the anger inside of me. I feel compelled to stay up on things, just so I can react when he attempts to provoke me. I find myself ruminating in the shower after reading a news article about how I’m going to use it against him or to defend myself. It’s complete and utter nonsense and something I’ve worked hard to stop doing this year.

Recently, I wrote about The Tools, and one of the Tools involves sending love towards someone, not as a way to forgive them or accept them even, but as a way for you to escape the maze you may find yourself in. I know this all too well, because I tend to live in such mazes when I feel that I’ve been done wrong or I’m irritated with someone. When I first read about this Tool, I couldn’t help but think of the rumination. The constant maze of overthinking in preparation of dealing with whatever may (or may not) come my way during the next visit. So, I began to use it. I wasn’t really sure if it would work, but what did I have to lose? Twenty minutes in the shower pissed off? A frustrating drive to work rehearsing an argument?

This past weekend I visited my father for the first time in six months. He’s dealing with some severe health issues and is currently waiting for results of a biopsy. When I walked in and saw him stumble towards me, I didn’t feel the defensiveness I normally have towards him. I didn’t feel as much irritation. Instead, I felt a bit of sympathy for the feeble old man who stood before me. He barely sat down before he went on an overly aggressive political rant that was no doubt thrown my way as a challenge, but I just smiled and remained quiet. I didn’t feel compelled to respond. What once irritated me to no end, I could now see for what it was. The delusional ramblings of morally bankrupt addict, who lacks the intelligence to realize how algorithms and news corporations are manipulating him into saying that’s seem completely foreign from the mostly kind man who I grew up with.

My wife and I sat on his couch quietly, playing with his new puppy, and listening to the same conversation we’ve had for the past twenty years. I heard about all of his doctors visits, all of his pains, and his inappropriate comments about his various female doctors. I watched as he farmed for sympathy and talked about how this might be the end. I caught myself tuning out, as I tend to do. Pretty much any conversation I made went right over his head. He was too out of it to pay attention, and it didn’t feed his narcissism so to him it wasn’t worth listening to.

I watched him snap at my stepmom and even his new puppy, and I realized the man before me was not the man I grew up with. At times, I’ve tried to hold onto the good memories and the fun times, but now, as I’ve grown older, and he’s grown older, we’re very different people and the person he’s become is not someone I like.

As we drove home, my wife and I discussed the visit and how draining it always is. She made a comment that there will probably be some relief when he passes for me, and at first, I was a bit taken back. I will no doubt be sad, but I don’t think I’ll be sad for the man today who passes, but I’ll be sad for the man who once was, and the man he could have been. The years wasted, where a bottle and pills were more important than creating a relationship with his children. I’ll be sad for the man who had it all. A beautiful home, a loving family, and a healthy retirement at the age of forty, but couldn’t shake the addiction, just like his father before him.

I realized after this weekend, I don’t harbor anger towards my father anymore. I don’t feel compelled to argue with him, to demand respect, or prove my worth. I don’t know if that Tool helped or maybe its just part of growing up. But now, I see my father for what he truly is and if this biopsy comes back the way we all expect it to it won’t be something I have to deal with much longer. And that truly is a shame, because things didn’t have to be this way.

I made a choice in my late teens, that when confronted with a tough decision, I’d ask myself what would my father do, and I’d do the opposite. It’s served me quite well over the years, and I as enter my mid-life, I’m going to continue to learn from my father what not to do, just so I don’t grow into the same angry, feeble old man that he did.

Despite all this, I still really like the unit as a cheap mp3 player. I do wish I could find a case or something to protect it a bit. As strange as it might sound, I’d like for it to have a bit more heft. There are some 3D printer plans for cases, but I don’t have access to one of those, so I’m still waiting for someone to come with something.

What I found fascinating is that this little player has slowly developed a following online. The company has embraced the fandom and opened up the unit to the fans, and now there are all kinds of user-friendly ways to update the firmware, install Rockbox, and new themes. It’s still a small, niche fandom, but it’s really nice to see young people embrace this cheap mp3 player and try to make it better. It reminds me a lot of the early internet, and I love seeing that.

For those who may have missed it, below is my initial review of the unit published in March of 2025. You can find all sorts of fun stuff on r/Innioasis, Innioasis App, and Discord.

Last year, I had an ugly breakup with Spotify. I decided I would just go back to mp3s and be done with streaming music. Then, we ended up getting Apple One a few weeks later, and it was convenient to utilize Apple Music while I rebuilt my mp3 collection.

Well, over the past couple of months, I’ve been picking up CDs left and right at thrift stores. I had some of my old mp3s left on a cheap mp3 player I bought maybe five years ago. Recently, I decided I’d start using my mp3 player more, and I discovered the Bluetooth was dying in it. So, I hopped online and found a recommendation for Dodosoul mp3 player which died on me before I even got my mp3s loaded up on it.

The sad state of affairs is that there is no major mainstream producer of mp3 players these days. It’s a lot of small companies of questionable quality who produce these players, or you can find an older player that’s been refurbished. I leaned toward buying a refurbished iPod, but that can be an expensive endeavor and honestly, I just wanted something that worked that I could easily take down into the gym or on a walk with. Preferably, something I wouldn’t be too concerned about if it broke.

Eventually, I ran across some folks online discussing the Innioasis Y1. It’s a relatively new player that runs on Android and has a company behind it that seems interested in actually updating firmware and improving the device over time. It’s also unique in that it has a clicker wheel, and looks quite a bit like a cheap plastic iPod classic, which it really is.

I decided to take a chance and ordered the Innioasis Y1. I figured, if it sucked, I’d just return it like the Dodosoul. Well, I’m actually impressed by this mp3 player. It looks good, feels nice, although it’s very light. You won’t mistake it for an iPod that’s for sure.

But the UI is one of the best I’ve seen on a budget mp3 player, and it works shockingly well. I’m no audiophile, and I’m not concerned about file formats, although it plays twenty-one different file types, and has audiobook support. If the 128 gig isn’t enough room, iFixit has a quick and easy breakdown tutorial to easily upgrade the MicroSD card.

For me, loading up my mp3s was a breeze, since I just plugged the player into my computer and moved things over to the folders. I have no complaints on the sound quality, and my Bluetooth headphones synced right up. I even found the built-in speaker to be adequate to listen to music while I’m playing video games, which is one of my favorite things to do late at night.

Not everything is perfect, of course. Right now, the firmware is updated via .exe files, so that leaves Apple users out in the cold (This has since been fixed thanks to Innioasis App, the official firmware install tool). Also, I’m still waiting on it’s next big firmware update, which is supposed to bring video playback (Edit: video playback was added) and hopefully some better sorting with the click wheel. The single biggest issue with the clicker wheel on this device is if you have a lot of artists, and you try and scroll quickly, it doesn’t bring the artists up by the letter. Instead, you just scroll through all the artists. If I read correctly, they are adding that function with the next firmware upgrade.

Searching for mp3 players these days can be a major pain, so I figured I’d share my thoughts about this one here. I’ll update this post should I run into any issues.