I've not touched the final chapter in my project for nine days and I'm trying to figure out if that's a good thing or bad. I was having trouble gathering my thoughts, pulling things together to get it wrapped up so, I suppose, a bit of space can be good. On the other hand, I've lost any sense of flow I might have had, any ideas I had about getting it finished now completely escape me – I somehow need to close the distance between myself and the material, need to get back into the correct mindset.
Easier said than done.
It's weird how you can go from working on something for 60 days straight to doing nothing as soon as you allow yourself a bit of flexibility. Not today becomes not tomorrow and not this week, it becomes all too easy to get out of the habit and, the longer that goes on, harder to get back into it.
I'm procrastinating by writing this post and watching my MacBook install an update, telling myself "in a few minutes" when I could just switch to a different tab in the browser on my phone and reacquaint myself with my words – the tab is already there and on the right page but I'm reticent to switch. It's almost like now that the finishing line is in sight that I feel like I'll mess it all up; it's like those scenes in horror movies where the protagonist is running down a corridor but perspective shifts and it stretches so they never reach the end.
I know I just need to reach the door at the end of the corridor and everything will fall into place but that door seems further away than ever.
