Back in 2008 a good friend of mine, Hutch Carpenter, said “how about another idea? Writing something different. Try a new set of topics“
Obviously, things have taken a different route recently; I’ve definitely been writing about something different.
The addictive nature of depression
Addiction:
the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming
Searching for depression and addiction will return you endless discussions and studies on whether patients can, and do, become addicted to antidepressants. Change your search term a little, dig a bit deeper and you’ll find the occasional piece, and a few Reddit threads, on the addictive nature of the illness rather than the treatment.
Yesterday was the anniversary of my decision to step back from the blog, a reflection of my realisation/admittance that things weren’t good on the mental health front.
It’s been a rollercoaster year.
The poem “The Stream” was an illustration that depression is often contextual.
We’re currently on holiday and the stream in the poem is in one of my favourite places: The Trough of Bowland, a jewel hidden within the wider Forest of Bowland area of natural beauty.
The Stream
Endless transient, fractal patterns,
Belie the apparent calm.
Stone weirs play different notes:
A binaural symphony that alters as one turns the head.
Peaceful, yet with a persistent cacophony.
Ripples spread while eddies cause leaves to rebel against the flow.
Moral responsibility
While there has been much written about content ownership – especially in an #indieweb context – I have long espoused a moral aspect to it.
The theory is that if your words are on your own site then you are likely to be more considered before hitting the publish button.
Boredom
I started writing something about possibly moving back to iPhone from Android after only a year this time – I tend to switch between them every 2-3 years. In doing so, I began to list the reasons (or maybe justifications) for why I was thinking about it.
Keep on surviving
I’m a survivor
I’m gonna make it
I will survive (yeah)
Keep on surviving– Destiny’s Child
A year ago to the day, in response to a piece from Patrick Rhone, I wrote how I was a mental health survivor. Not a sufferer, but a survivor. I hadn’t succumbed to my past problems and was still here, still surviving.
Back… With some caveats.
I’ve been toying with the idea of coming back to the blog for a while but it has always met with some internal resistance.
I think the problem has not been the blogging per se rather everything else that goes with it. But, I miss it and have done for some time.
Making changes
I’ve been doing some thinking – I know, always dangerous.
Returning to pen and paper on the way to work this morning I started making a few notes in response to James’ post and extrapolated somewhat to the point where I set some things in motion internally. I think they’re continuations of how I’ve been thinking and feeling for a while but have coalesced into something more solid.
This past week I have deliberately and drastically reduced my phone usage; there have even been times when I haven’t carried it.
It felt strange at first but then it became liberating.
I’m on holiday this week so posts are likely to be a bit thin on the ground. I’ll be having quite a digital free few days.
Liked: My IndieWeb story, Part 1: Jumping in the Deep End…
“I hope it presents both some technical aspects of the IndieWeb but more so introduces how the IndieWeb experience is personal and is shaped by each individual.”
It’s raining for the first time in what seems forever but I don’t reach for my umbrella; it’s refreshing, a gift, makes me feel alive.
More on migraines
Last night saw me retiring early with another, although I’m sure I never completely got over the one from last week.
I’ve never really been one to experience a “prodrome” in connection with my migraines – a period up to a couple of days before an attack where other symptoms may manifest as a warning. At least not that I can recall.
Liked: Let’s repurpose simpleton – James Shelley…
“I think we should repurpose the word ‘simpleton’ into something that isn’t so pejorative. There’s something to be said for circumventing the needlessly complicated. And to consider oneself a simpleton reflects a healthy sense of skepticism about the comprehensiveness of one’s knowledge.”
I started reading one of my birthday presents “The Story of Philosophy: A History of Western Thought” on the way to work this morning and was instantly struck by the following passage in the introduction:
Liked: In Praise of Email | Dan Cohen…
“Despite, or perhaps because of, its early inception, email avoided many of the worst aspects of our modern media environment.”
Although World of Warcraft was supposed to be down until 10am this morning for the BfA pre-patch I was able to log in around 5am. As with all new expansions, however, it’s an initial game of addon roulette until things get updated.
Yesterday was a fun day of predominantly gaming but we also rewatched Rogue One (again) in the evening – still one of my favourite Star Wars films.
Unfortunately, the car wasn’t ready thanks to Vauxhall not being forthcoming that they weren’t doing next day delivery of a part.