Ideas, creativity and scale
This is always a difficult time of year for someone who likes to call themselves a writer.
NaNoWriMo, or National Novel Writing Month - an annual event in which authors sign up to write a novel of at least 50,000 words during the month of November.
I have always wanted to write a book of some description but my only effort, a sci-fi novel begun in my late teens, fizzled out - the scope was too grand while I was too young and inexperienced to match the vision.
At least I'm honest about that.
Ideas without execution
For years my social profiles have included the words "thinker, writer, ideas man" but what does that really mean?
It sounds grand, creative, perhaps self aggrandising but it is also self deprecating.
The problem is since that failed attempt I have only had small ideas, bits and pieces often building on someone else's work. Extensions, wishes, improvements.
When original ideas do emerge they suffer from my inability to expand them, to turn them from small ideas into big ones or combine a number of smaller thoughts into a worthy project.
Ideas without execution.
Ideas are our lifeblood, yet alone they are nothing but shadows of what might have been or reflections of possible futures.
With only ideas I am just the thinker and not the doer. With only ideas I am just the ideas man and not the author or the entrepreneur. With only ideas I am but a single step down a very long road and can only dream of reaching the end.
And small ideas only get you so far.
It may be a little conceited but we want our ideas to be worth something - not necessarily financially, but mentally, emotionally.
We want our creation to be something someone else will care about, that will make an impact or make a difference rather than get buried in a social stream with just a couple of likes from friends who feel obligated to tap that little heart icon.
Perhaps it is a fear of our own mortality that we want to make a mark on the world and not be lost to time once our number is up.
We tie self worth to external validation when we should be looking within; when we should be relishing our ideas no matter how small.