I've been seeing a trend develop among those whose posts flow through my RSS reader. I see people struggling to write, to coalesce their thoughts into something coherent. Not only is this affecting any writing for public consumption but also that for their own private journals.
I mentioned last week that I didn't feel the need to write my morning pages while on leave as not going to work was therapeutic enough on its own. This week, however, that lack of need has morphed into a lack of ability - there have been blog posts but nothing of any real consequence.
As I mentioned in yesterday's letter our normal routines have been stolen from us. An ever-present worry hangs over us, mentally weighing us down, preventing us from functioning as we usually would. Even if we aren't watching the news it's always there in the back of our minds, continually reinforced by the position we find ourselves in: the new normal.
How long will it take to adjust?
I also wrote that my non-news related reading had dried up. I think this is partly because I now don't have a commute beyond walking from one room to another (again, the loss of routine) but also because of the nagging uncertainty.
Last night I made a deliberate point of sitting down with a book and reading a chapter, I wanted to remind myself that I could escape for a little while, isolate myself within the confines of the pages rather than the walls of the house - voluntary rather than enforced. I wanted to remind myself that the things I enjoy didn't have to stop just because the world had become a crazy, scary place.
It felt good!
I also intend to write my morning pages again tomorrow, to try to get those early thoughts, those almost unconscious words, flowing again. We are allowed to leave the house for exercise and for the good of our mental health but writing and reading is just as important for me in this regard.