28/1/20203

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This blog is more like a trilogy than a single work, (or at least the first three parts in a series:

  • Book 1 (parts 1 & 2) are all about social media - it's two parts because I took a hiatus,
  • Book 2 - ownership, control and the Indieweb, setting the scene
  • Book 3 - more personal, more about me and how I'm dealing with things

Book 1 was me trying to be something I wasn't, exploring an exciting time but doing so in a way that was trying to force things, trying to be the next someone else and not me, trying to be found.

Book 2 was a voyage of discovery, almost a rebellion against the whole idea of the first part. It was still, perhaps, me trying to be something else, not entirely myself but it was a definite improvement.

Book 3 takes the lessons from book 2, strips them down and gets to work. It's where I wish I always had been.

The old blog (2003 - 2008) was a mixture, very much a rough draft written by an inexperienced hand. It mixed the personal with the geeky but not in such a pretentious way. It served almost as a template for what I'm doing now. Now, however, I'm a better writer, a deeper thinker, more at ease with what I'm doing.

There are times I wish I hadn't taken breaks, hadn't moved my writing away from the blog, but then wonder if I would still be stuck writing Book 1, never progressing. I realise that, although it leaves gaps, I needed to step away to move on to the next part.

Some can claim to have blogged every day for the past 15 or 20 years and I say good luck to them, they were lucky to have found their voice early. I have had to rediscover my voice both figuratively and literally and am still finding it now, but it's mine, not an approximation or impression of anyone else.

And that is all I could ask for.

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Don't get me wrong, I have written some good stuff throughout the life of the blog, some things I am incredibly proud of, and been involved in wonderful, thought provoking discussions because of it. I just wish that much of it had been coming from a different place.

Still, we learn and we grow, we're never the finished article and, except in those rarest of cases, it takes time to become who we were meant to be.

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For the past couple of days I've been sat with just the last page left of my current notebook, two measly sides of paper.

Partly it's because I've steered clear of going back and forth between paper and screen because of my eye - I've opted to go directly to the phone to cut down on the time I'm having to concentrate. However, it's also been because I wanted to keep things neat and tidy. I didn't want to start something that might roll over to another notebook.

In a way it makes sense but I wonder whether I have been limiting myself unnecessarily. Again, it's a case of so what? Would it really matter if I was forced to span two notebooks?

Still, it's irrelevant now; writing about the "issue" has used that last page, just how I sometimes write about having writer's block to cure writer's block.

Next!

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